The Journey Continues

I have a love/this is really hard relationship with my time here in Frace. I love it at times, and others… I want to click my heels three times and magically be in my bed with my three closest friends telling them, “I had the strangest dream and you were there, and you were there, and you were there.”
But the thing is… it’s not a strange dream, it’s reality, and my friends are not here. (insert tear here)

It is the small things I miss the most from home. I used to be semi-addicted to texting and now half the time I don’t even know where my cell phone is. Why? Because there is no one to call me… no one knows my number, unless they are looking for a dog or baby sitter in which case- I am okay if I miss the call. I have the ability to call people through skype which is a dream come true- but if they don’t answer- they can’t call me back. You don’t realize how special it is to get a call from someone till you haven’t had your phone ring from a close friend in several months.

Getting mail from home is the greatest treasure on earth. Having something in my mailbox (other than bills) tells me someone remembers me and knows where I live. They may not have seen the place – but they know that this is where I can be found. It sounds strange, but the warmth in my heart when I find a piece of mail from the states in my mail box- can instantly bring tears of joy, and a smile to my face when I see the card posted onto my memory board.

Facebook can be my ally and worst rival. Some days Facebook lets me stay connected and in contact with everyone I know and love since I was in elementary school. But then pictures are posted of the great events, that I miss, because I am here. Fun birthdays of special friends are sad but what’s more difficult are the weddings, showers, babies and all the things that only happen once. More heartbreaking then not being a part of it, is not being there makes me feel like I am failing as a friend, for not being able to physically be there on these special days. But it is a double edge sword- because my pictures show the time of my life- but in my pictures it’s usually just me. I have great scenery but what is missing are Smartash, Francie pants, B-Cram, Cyn, Nic pic, Kens, and many many others.

I realize that my time here is short and I will be home before I can even realize I left home. I look forward to the day that I can look back on all the great memories. I just need to keep looking forward and know that this life must be lived to the fullest to be able to look back with no regrets. I must not get caught up in what I miss from home- but focus on what can be created in the time that I have been given here. “Every chance you get, is a chance you seize.”

I am not sure really what this most is about. Mostly rambles of things I think about often, a small picture of reality, and a reminder that no matter how far I am from the states, my heart is home. The beauty of it all is I know this goes both ways. I never doubt the love of everyone at home. Without them I wouldn’t be able to get through this whole journey; which in their own special way, actually does make them here with me. And coming to this conclusion my journey here will continue…

(Oh and for those who are wondering... yes I would like some cheese with my wine. Thanks :) Life really is tough for a young 20-something living in France... I know.)