My Mane Issue

Once when I was 15, I went into this hair salon with my BFF Kendal and her mom. We all needed haircuts and Kendal’s mom picked the place so I went along and decided I would get my hair cut too. First Kendal’s mom was taken, then Kendal, then me. My “stylist” looked like a Hawaiian Santa Clause with a long brown braid going to the center of his back. No Joke. I still remember him because he traumatized me greatly and changed every haircut I would get after this experience.

As Hawaiian Santa was walking towards me I thought, “This is going to be no good.” I should have followed that instinct and run out the door. But I didn’t, so he takes me back, sits me in a chair, and asks what I would like done. I tell him just a trim. He looks at me and says, “Well, I don’t really feel like cutting hair today.”

WHAT?!?!?!?!!! Um, hello Hawaiian Braided Santa, that is your job! What do you mean you don’t FEEEEEL like cutting hair?! (I have to slow down I am getting too excited, deep breaths) Before I could react to the ludicrous statement the stylist butcher made, he gathered all of my hair in a rubber band and began cutting chomping away parts of my hair. No shampooing or blowdry after just straight dry cutting with my hair all bunched together. I was MORTIFIED! I sadly didn’t say anything but waited painfully for it all to be over, paid my bill, and left depressed.

Since the biggest mistake of my life, letting Hair Butchering pony tail wearing Hawaiian Santa Clause touch my hair, I have vowed to only go to professional salons where people actually like girls with pretty haircuts, who like their job, and who know what the heck they are doing! I have stayed true to this and have had the best hair stylist since that tragic day since. The best of the best is my girl Kali Hana! She is just the cutest thing and is a lean mean (actually more dainty and cute than mean) hair styling Queen. I could sit in Kali’s chair all day, every day. She has the gift and more importantly she LOVES her job, so even on days she doesn’t feel like being a stylist, she does it anyways and she’s good at it. And I am positive she doesn’t tell her clients she doesn’t want them sitting in her chair, taking up her time; but rather continues to give them the perfect cut and color every time.

Sadder than Hawaiian Butchering Santa, is that Kali is not here in Paris! For weeks months now, I have been looking at my hair thinking… I need a hair cut! I keep hoping Kali will magically appear in Paris, or wish I had money like Opera, so I could fly to CA, and get my hair did while seeing my number one girl. Since I can’t, you should for me. I promise she is the BEST! But she isn’t here, and I don’t think she is going to magically appear anytime soon, so I am stuck with dead ends.

I walk past salons here in France and cringe not knowing who I can trust with my now overprotected locks of love. I have always had an attachment to my hair, even before Hawaiian Butchering Santa, but now I am protective of who I trust with my mane. I have people who offer to cut my hair for me for free and while most normal people are okay with that, everything inside of me cringes with the offer. I see flashbacks and want to run far far away before they reach out and grab a pair of scissors and start hacking away. My biggest issue is, I don’t know where to go, to get a well done do. Who can I turn to? And on top of that, with my oh so imperfect French, how do I express to them what I want, without coming out, looking like a French Poodle.

This has become quite an immense dilemma and every day I look in the mirror I am just so sad with the state of my tresses. They are dead and flat, rather than full of volume and life as they were in the good ol’ Kali days. Oh Kali how I love the… let me count the ways. I’ll start with 120,000 ways for each of the hairs on my head and go from there.

I I really need is some Fabulous French Hair Artist to come and give my hair some lovin, cause right now, me and my Breck girl hair are hurting, hurting real bad.

Kali the Great Days:
I am on the left, though Kali does the other lovely ladies hair too!


Currently:
wa wa waaaaaaa. Utter Chaos