2010- Non Resolutions

Oh January 1st – the beginning of making and breaking resolutions, promises, and declarations for the New Year. I personally have never been one to stick to my resolutions. Surprise, surprise. So this year- I am doing the opposite. I am not making resolutions I want to obtain, but rather contradict what I really would like to do. Like reverse psychology. For example if I have always said I am going to read one book a week- and failed, it’s just a failure to add on my list of things undone. BUT! If I say I will not read at all- reading anything would be a real success, but if I don’t read anything at all- I at least met my resolutions and no failing there. Sounds good to me! Really in life, just always set the bar low- that way you can just step right on over it with no effort at all, or just continue laying idly on the floor.

Thus I give you my Non-Resolutions of 2010!

- I want to read and watch no news ever. I do not need to know what is going on in the world. This year when my internet homepage opens to the New York Times, I will not stop to read the articles but continue to go directly to TMZ and get all the latest and greatest Hollywood gossip. Besides, who needs to know about what’s really going on in the world, when you can keep plenty of conversations going with the newest scandal of the day.

- I want to gain 20 pounds. Yes gain. No no no don’t gasp and think I am crazy. Crazy would be for the last 10 years resolving to lose 20 pounds, and then lose 5 gain 5. Lose 10 gain 10. That would be crazy. So I don’t want to lose weight – gain it. Take off the pressure and see what happens from there. Pain Chocolate here I come.

- Going with gaining weight- I want this year to be a year of sitting watching loads of t.v. and movies and not a single day of working out. I want to be a couch potato not a lean mean dancing machine. No more promising to workout five three days a week while filled with a lackluster attitude to actually accomplish the working out. I want no little beads of sweat to drip from this head for the next 365 days.

- GMAT. Psh! More like SnoooozeMat. In a month I am supposed to take the GMAT. All I want to do is fail. I also don’t want to get into any of the schools I am considering applying to. No overachieving for me this year. In fact- how about no studying at all. I mean do I really need to learn to speak French while living in France? What a silly question, cause I surely think not.

- When my alarm goes off- I give myself the freedom to continue to sleep an hour (or two) past the original sound off. Nothing is more pleasurable than waking up every five minutes to blaring bad music and hitting the snooze button, to cuddle up for more sleep. So no waking up when I am supposed to. I mean being late is just part of being human right? So here’s to being more human.

- And last but definitely the least of what I want this year, is a mighty fine man. My moto this year, “No Boys Allowed!” So please do me a favor and stay away all charming, loving, sweet, funny, hot, gorgeous boys. I just do not have time for you in my life and really just want to focus on myself, friends, and career. Having a boy in 2010 would just be too too much to handle. So this year- no boys. Of all the resolutions, this one is the one that must be abided to the most. There is no leeway- So sorry boys, this year- you are not going to be thought about, longed for, or flirted with. See you in 2011.

So I hope you all have success with your New Years Resolutions. But most importantly I hope that 2010 will be a start of a great year of personal, spiritual, physical, and emotional growth for you all. It’s a new year, a fresh start, and the dawning of a horizon of new opportunities for you.

Happy New Years!