Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Juh, Rgh, and Euh

What do early Saturday mornings, two tablets of aspirin, and a very large cup of coffee have in common? Me, Trying to learn French. Please note the emphasis on the word Trying in the previous sentence.

I officially learned I was moving to Paris, November 5
th, 2007. Since, I have been asked many questions. The most obvious and common question asked is... Do you speak French? My response: a coy, innocent smile along with a witty french response of "Wi" (I have sense learned that yes in French is correctly spelled: Oui)

Thanks to the highly reputable resource network known as... "Craig's list." I found myself a French tutor. The result has been: me, waking up early Saturday mornings, to meet with a witty French man, in a coffee shop, for 3 hours, stammering over words that I am unable to pronounce. Correction, stumbling over words would be a good day~ I am usually stuck on~ the alphabet. To remember the letter E (
euh) I have to scratch my head, To pronounce R's (Rgh) I am forced to hack, and G's (Juh) I pretend to silently cough.

I believe
Soleli (my tutor) is one of two things. The first would be a saint for having the patience to sit with someone like me for three hours time. I continually ask simple questions, ask why the French have stupid rules, and stare at him blankly when he gives me directions only to then spit out "OH, you want me to say it!" I imagine he continually thinks... "stupid girl," underneath his kind giggle and "but of course." He also quite often tells me to, "quit being a stubborn woman" where I correct him in that I am sassy, not stubborn. Sassy is one English word he is not familiar with.

My second theory and more probably, is that Soleli is the epitome of evil and is making up silly rules of when the sounds of letters change . (If an "S" is between to
vowels then it makes a "Z" sound. every where else it makes a "ssss" sound. But the "S" is not pronounced at the end of any word ect...) I am convinced these rules are all to make an eager French learner , frustrated. And believe me... I am the most eager French learner of them all. Secretly, French must be a simple and easy language. He must take great pleasure in watching foolish beginning French students like myself, struggle to formulate simple words in a language that was given to him naturally at birth. Some people have all the luck, I'll tell ya. shiesh.

However! I will overcome! I will keep scratching my head, coughing, and hacking or whatever it takes for me to survive the most basic understanding and pronunciation. I have however learned, that French is a language that lacks any logical connection and that French only sounds beautiful when someone French is speaking. I do this language of beauty, no justice whatsoever. Dang!

Au
Revoir! (avhoergh- yawn, hack, Va, eugh, yawn, hack)

2 comments:

Karissa said...

gotta love that french tutor ;)

momof3under12 said...

i found your blog from Karissa. I spent a year in france right after highschool and spend many a day at school, speaking more english than french. i thought the teacher was going to kill me!
You will survive...just keep practicing, no matter how dumb you think you sound. Pretty soon, you'll be thinking in French (which is really odd when it happens!)
One funny story though. I was in my french class with a bunch of other kids...our only common language was English (lucky me!). Anyway, this British kid was sitting in front of me (he was cute) and during the french lesson, he turned around and whispered.."hey, do you have a rubber?" I was shocked and speechless and I couldn't believe that this really cute British boy asked me for a condom! As I sat there with my mouth hanging open, trying to figure out what to say, he says again, "i need a rubber". I said "why would i be carrying those with me? You think i just walk up to any random person on the street and ask them to have sex?" He blushed and said "wait, you think i want a condom? No, a rubber in English is an eraser"